Our time in China was a whole lot different than I expected. As I look back on it, I realize I fell in love with parts of my daughter's birth country and the Chinese people, but truthfully at the time, I just felt like I was in survival mode. Between Caitlyn's grieving, her discomfort with travel and health issues for all of us, it was a pretty hard time. I thought we would spend the time getting to know China and Caitlyn, but we really spent our time getting to know our girl and spent a lot of time in the hotels. I wish I had enjoyed China more, but I KNOW my time spent falling in love with my daughter was time well spent.
Being home the first ten days hasn't been easy either, but there's something about being home, in your own bed, surrounded by your family, that makes it a little easier. Thanks to quick access to medical care since we've been home, Caitie and I are getting better. Caitie had an ear infection and is on antibiotics and I am on a couple medications for something I picked up. (David's health issue was better shortly after getting home.) We thought we would really cocoon and be Caitie's only caregivers for a while, but I was so sick at first that I needed help. Luckily two of my dear friends and my mom could step in and help. They understood what we were trying to do, so they have come over and helped, but tried to minimally pick Caitie up or feed her. We're so thankful for a huge community of support and especially for our core group who have carried us for the month of April. Hopefully May will be a little easier. :) And our sweet, fun, carefree little Connor has been quite the doting big brother. We have been shocked by his desire to get to know Caitie. Cole is being a sweet big brother too, but has a harder time with the crying and other stimulation.
So how's Caitie doing? Great, mostly...... As an adoptive friend said on Facebook this morning, it's like having a newborn at home, with diapers to change, bottles to wash, sleepless nights, a huge learning curve and trying to figure out your little one's personality, but still dealing with a toddler, almost 2 year old, who cant speak and doesn't know the language. She's a very busy little girl, who loves to dance, laugh and eat. She is discovering the world around her and doesn't like to take no for an answer. If she doesn't get what she wants, even if we can't understand what she wants, she simply throws herself on the floor and throws a fit. She's had a couple sad days, but just like with any one year old, it's hard to tell if she doesn't feel good, is overstimulated, tired (she barely napped today) or is she still grieving. Has she realized she's stuck with us? :) I guess we'll see as time goes on.
